Last weekend was the Fan Expo appreciation day in Toronto and I went as a fan to rifle through thousands of terrible comics to find a few gems.

Speaking of gems, how could a Princess Planeteer not pick up a copy of Amethyst?

This is an awesome cover!!! It’s dark and spooky, rammed with skulls and it has a mammoth that apparently had bones in its trunk???

ROM Spaceknight has his thumb sucked by terrifying fish! And by “terrifying” I mean things not scary enought to make it as a Madball.

Seriously? This is what passed for danger in a Supergirl comic? Her costume exposed at a costume party by a mint chocolate chip polka-dot oaf? Did they run out of skelephants and deadly deep sea fish?

They made a lot of movie adaptations but House II? Really? For Serious? I bought this? What am I? Nuts?

The yellow guy fighting Shang Chi looks pretty cool except when he stops moving and those spiked balls in his topknot smash him in the face again.

You could be the a new character for the Princess Planet! (Or your likeness anyway)

What you get if you win:

I will draw you as the Shoemaker based on the classic fairy tale about The Shoemaker and the Elves. You will appear in at least 2 strips shortly after you’ve won the contest. I may or may not continue to use the character as time goes on depending on whether I think any more jokes about shoes or if I become tongue-tied. Haha. Get it?

How to enter:

1. Be over 17 years old.

2. If you are not already a member of the Facebook group, join up.

3. Post a photo to the Facebook group of you with a mythical creature of some sort.

4. Make a wall post in the Facebook group naming your favourite Princess Planet character or favourite strip (or both).

5. Do this all before May 21 when I will choose one winner at random.

Rules:

1. By entering this contest you give me legal permission to use your likeness as a character in my comic strip, The Princess Planet. I do not have to give you any money for this even if I make money from this. You’re doing this for the fame and fun.
2. The winner will have to supply me with 4 photos of themselves in which I can clearly see their face from the front, profile, three-quarter and one where I can get a general idea of their body. You can’t send photos of you in sunglasses, or dressed up as the Grimace or something like that. I need to be able to see your features. If you’re not happy with the way you look, this contest probably isn’t for you. If the winner fails to provide appropriate photos within two weeks of being notified of winning, they forfeit the contest and I’ll pick another random winner instead.

1. You may enter as many times as you want but that will not increase your chances of winning. I’ll still only put your name in the randomizing hat once.

1. I make no promises to be 100% accurate with my cartoon. I will do the best I can to capture the likeness of the winner. I’m not going to try to capture your personality, just your apperance.

Good luck, tell your friends and have fun!

On Tuesday, April 7th I’ll be participating in a panel discussion about webcomics at the North York Central Library along with my pal Willow Dawson and others.

It’s hosted by reatiler/blogger Chris Butcher and I’ve nabbed this descirption from The Beguiling‘s website…

Graphically Speaking: Webcomics!
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009, 6:30pm – 8:30pm
@ North York Central Library
http://www.keeptorontoreading.ca/events/graphically-speaking
TOTALLY FREE

As you might be aware, The Beguiling works really hard to keep books in stock (for you!) that aren’t offered through standard distribution channels. That includes minis and zines, it includes specialty books of interest to comics fans but not necessarily carried by Diamond, and it also includes print versions of popular online comics (generally referred to as ‘webcomics’). We do this because we like to sell things and make money, but also because we feel that a big part of being a comic book store is… wait for it… Selling Comic Books. And that means regardless of the format, or where they originally appeared. We like comics, we sell comics, and we’re happy to do it.

Over the past few years, more and more comics material has started to become available online. Granted, comics on the internet go back to more-or-less the first protocols for displaying graphics online (and even earlier if you count bbs’), but it’s really been in the past few years that comics specifically intended for the web have become viable, moneymaking enterprises for the folks that do them. Penny Arcade, PVP, Deisel Sweeties, Questionable Content, Wigu/Overcompensating, Achewood, and Toronto’s own Dinosaur Comics, are just a few examples of folks who are making a go of publishing online, and deriving their income from those pursuits.

But how are they doing it? And how does that affect us, a comic book store, the ‘middleman’ who’s being ‘skipped’ in this publishing model.

That’s what we’re going to discuss!

I (Christopher Butcher) am going to be interviewing 6 Toronto-area webcomics creators about what they publish, and how, and why. “Can you make money at this? How much? More importantly, do you even want to make money? What are the differences between between print and online as a medium? Is this your career, a hobby, or both? What would you recommend for someone interested in following in your footsteps?”

(I might pause between questions to let them answer… we’ll see)

And who are the fine webcomics creators who will be participating in this event?

Kate Beaton (History Comics)
http://harkavagrant.com/index.php

Willow Dawson (100 Mile House)
http://www.topshelfcomix.com/ts2.0/artist/320

Emily Horne (A Softer World)
http://www.asofterworld.com/

Brian McLachlan (The Princess Planet)
http://www.theprincessplanet.com/

Ryan North (Dinosaur Comics)
http://qwantz.com/

…and to be honest, likely a dozen other webcomicsy people will be in the audience (they travel in packs!). Books (where available) will be on hand for sale at the event, and all of the creators will be available following the discussion to chat with and sign for fans and attendees.

So come one, come all, to this rather interesting look at reading and creating work online! It’s all part of Toronto Public Library’s Keep Toronto Reading event, which I have to say, is pretty forward-thinking on their parts.

Hoorays! I got my copies of the graphic novel I wrote and drew for Scholastic Canada.  It’s 40 pages of funducational comics that will be used as a reader for grade 6 students across Canada. I had a great time working on it and I even made a trip to the Canadian Space Agenc. They were kind enough to allow me to interview an astronaut trainer for a few hours and see some of their training facilites. Super cool!

“Gisele doesn’t like the sugary cereals that most kids like, but she never tought eating something good for you would lead to this. When she opens her box of Grain-ola Oat Crunch Bran, she discovers that she’s won a ticket to space!”

Here are some of the pages before they added the word balloons:

For some of you, welcome to the new Princess Planet site. I had been running two sites. I started one at theprincessplanet.com with my own limited html programming. Then I joined my friends at TXComics and set up a planetary home with ComicPress. I’ve finally gotten rid of my old site in favour of this one, because it allows you to communicate with me better. You can tell me when my punchlines rock or stink. You can have the comics automatically appear in your email if you join the RSS feed. And you can see my posts about what I’m up to besides Princess Planet. So, hopefully you will enjoy the new changes, or not notice them at all if you never went to my original site. Big thanks to Ramon for so much help getting this setup.

Also, coming very soon… Princess Planet contest time!

Every March, Owl Magazine does a special comic’s issue. It’s like Valentine’s day or Halloween except that it’s just celebrating hilarious. Like every month, I write the Alex and Charlie strip and the very talented Claude Bordeleau provides the awesome art. But I also have a special Princess Planet comic that won’t be on this site for many more months, so you if you want to see the robot being a goofball, check out the latest issue. I also have a 2 page Tip Top Tips for Cartooning which is edu-comedical. Also: other great comics. Check your local newsstand!

I got a nice review over at the Webcomic Overlook: 5 out of 5 stars, like my TXcomics buds Karl and Ramon. Looks like I won the reviewer over. Previously, El Santo thought that puns were the lowest form of humour. Now he says he doesn’t fear them.

Samuel Johnson was the first person yo say “puns are the lowest form of humour” and the phrase has stuck around since, which says something for some truth in it but also something for the infectious nature of words. I feel sometimes people just repeat things they heard because they sounded clever, rather than them being true. Like “The media has a liberal bias” or “the south is all a bunch of inbred hicks”.

Or that they repeat words they hear together frequently even though they don’t put much thought into why. For instance: people say “He was a big fat guy” where “big” is redundant, but adds to the rhythm. Or when part of the anagram is repeated after the shortened version like ATM machine or WWE wrestling.

Or a combination of seemingly clever ideas and repetitive usage like “conspiracy theorist” being used as a pejorative. Conspiracy is just a word for any crime that was planned (like conspiracy to commit assault) and theorist is just someone with a set of facts and some imagination (like Sherlock Holmes or a 6 year old with an Encyclopedia Brown book). So police detectives are the literal definition of conspiracy theorists. Those crazy, wacky cops! Always blaming B & Es on the Alien Illuminati!

Or in ads when they use phrases like “virtually spotless”, “part of a complete breakfast” or “made from concentrate” as if they were good things. It takes a while for someone to think “Hey wait… part of a complete breakfast? You mean, if I have some ‘toast, peanut butter, orange juice and milk on this high fructose corn syrup and oat bits’ I’ll be healthy? Maybe this product should just say it tastes good and not try to trick me into thinking it’s healthy?”

Advertisers and political think tanks use these tactics a lot. Ick.

But to get back to puns. The Wikipedia entry claims that Willy Shakespeare used over 3000 of them in his works. So, if Shakespeare is the greatest author that ever lived (as according to high school English curriculum) then that would seem to be at odds with puns being the lowest form of comedy. Maybe the lowest form is being-hit-in-the-nuts jokes. Or stealing someone’s lunch and playing monkey in the middle with it. Or saying the most offensive thing possible. Or Punk’d.

Samuel Johnson is the man who wrote a dictionary in 9 years, so he is book smart and knows a lot about language. But maybe that’s why he hates puns so much. He wanted words to mean one thing and not hop around the dictionary. “You mean bare, not bear! Get a dictionary you fop!”

I also won El Santo over with a strip that features princesses, unicorns and tea parties even though he’s not the target audience, which is nice to know. I started out making this strip because there wasn’t really a good comic for young girls being made. At least grown women have Cathy and For Better or For Worse. Publishers tell me that at a young age little boys will not read books with female protagonists and that little girls will read about either girls or boys. So that means most young children’s stories feature male lead characters and possibly a female companion/sidekick. That seemed like there’s some room there for the Nancy Drew or Jem and the Holograms of comic strips. Hence The Princess Planet.

Anyway, check out his review, write your own review, make your own comic, dance a jig, whatever floats your bag of tea!

I’ve been reading a bunch of the phone-book thick black and white collections of old Marvel comics called “Essentials”. Most super hero comics today don’t interest me very much. One reason is that modern comics are more cinematic, so that there’s less writing and a 22 page comic feels like 2 minutes worth of bad cop television. If I go back to the 60’s I find there are too many words on the page, with writers basically re-explaining the action drawn in the panel and lying about how earth-shattering, never-to-be-forgotten and most-dangerous-of-all this particular battle it is. The ’70s and ’80s are the sweet zone for me. That’s when they wrote enough text to add flavour to a story, through introspection, back story and a bit of purple prose without it being too overwritten.

Of course these super-hero comics are corny, hilarious, campy, melodramatic and full of action. That means I shouldn’t take them too seriously but I still wanted to do a fun review of the Essential Spider-Woman.

Despite her name, Spider-Woman has nothing to do with Spider-Man. While she can crawl on walls like a spider, which sounds pretty cool, she also secretes human/arachnid pheremones that make almost everybody automatically repulsed by her. Her alter ego, Jessica Drew can’t get a job, and has only one guy who wants to date her. That’s a clever handicap to give her. She can also fire “venom blasts” at criminals, but has a limited supply before she runs out and must use her super strength to punch people in the face bone. With her red and yellow costume she can glide across the skies. They start her off in England and move her to L.A., two places we don’t see a lot of in Marvel books. That isolates her even more from the super hero choked New York. We’re off to a great start! She’s even an enemy spy to start things off! Woot!

There’s a story about Jessica trying a pill that will inhibit her pheremones. Not knowing much about socializing she gets a cabbie to drop her off somwhere people go. At the disco, another girl grabs her purse by accident and finds a crazy costume inside. The tipsy woman puts it on to get people’s attention on the dance floor. This makes Jessica perplexed with how to get her outfit back without ruining her secret identity. Fun!

The next story has the guy she meets at the disco about to kiss her… and his face felts all over her! Gross! Fun and wierd mystery abounds!

Then at issue #21, it jumps the shark. A new writer takes over and ditches any previous unresolved story issues. Instead he makes her as lame as he can. She now has a helper who is a wheel-chair bound almost FBI agent who analyzes soil samples in his wanna-be-crime-lab. There’s also a warehouse full of costumes she dresses up in to gather information and the writer makes her venom blasts (which this trained spy previously almost never missed with) repeatedly not hit the too fast middle-aged fat guys she fights against. What the bananas? Why would someone take a powerful female hero with a fascinating set of circumstances and make her helpless to solve mysteries without the aid of a brilliant man (who only bothers to help her because he can’t physcially go and kick ass himself), a place to play “dress up”and make her completely inept at fighting? Wow. That’s deplorable. I don’t think I’ve ever used that word before in my life, and the first time I do is for a comic book? Now that’s bad.

If that writer has one bright moment is that the fat, aging, wanna-be clown attempts to kill someone with the bendable “snake” found in a can of prank peanut brittle. At least that’s ridiculous enough to be funny.

The book is filled with hacked out, monthly comic art, (apart froma great John Buscema issue). Here’s my favourite picture where the artist doesn’t really have a solid idea of how big the Hollywood sign is.

This would make Spider-Woman a giant. Or maybe she’s sitting on a recreation at a minature golf course?

Over all, it was worth the 10 bucks I paid for it on boxing day but not much more. Anyone else like readind old comics?

My good buddy Steve Manale gave me this wonderful gift he found at a dollar store: a box of Batman Begins playing cards. For best results read the back of the box aloud. Seriously. It makes it way better.

Inside, the “game” is completely incomprehensible. It just has a bunch of screen caps of Batman with different ATK and DEF scores, all ending in 000. It’s like a game of pinball where after 5 seconds of play they give you millions of points as if to make up for years of not getting one gold star on your homework in elementary school. Not all the pictures are of Spiderman. There are a few of Katie Holmes, Comissioner Gordon and the Batmobile, all of which also have incredibly high attack and defense scores. Some of the cards are different colours which looks kind of nice and allows you to sort them purposefully but is ultimately pointless due to the fact there are absolutely no rules included nor any possible fun game to be played with them. Unless you consider throwing the cards across the room in frustration a good time.